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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

Still suck at "pinning" so I've decided to simply list my love/hate relationships here on blogger, because it seems to be the only website that I can successfully navigate on my own (with the exception of facebook of course.  I am a SAHM after all).  Plus, I haven't found any of the following things to be "pinnable."

1.  I LOVE peanut butter...
     But, I do not love what it does to my thighs...hmmm..

2. I LOVE my 4-year-old's openness and inability to know a stranger.  That child would make friends with
    Charles Manson.
    But, I do NOT love her honesty when I step out of the shower and she says:

    "Mommy, why do your boobies flop over like that?"

    Ugh.  "I don't know, Morgan.  Go play with your toys and let me get dressed."

   "Wait, Mommy!  It's ok!  Your belly matches your boobies!   It flops over too. Yay!"

    Death stare.....

3.  I love the efficiency and service of UPS.
     But, if one more of those guys comes to my door during naptime and rings the damn doorbell, I'm gonna
start feeling REALLY sympathetic to the plight of Lorena Bobbitt.  It's a good thing they sort of walk/sprint back to their trucks before I make it to the door, because the first guy I catch is gonna have little brown packages carrying more than packing peanuts.

4.  One of my all time favorite things is curling up on the couch with a freshly washed baby.  The footy pajamas and story-time, combined with the frequent sniffs of baby shampoo is one of life's truly beautiful, stolen moments.

5.  I despise hate for the sake of hate, OR hate born of fear. Ask questions about things you don't understand.  Learn something.  You may be surprised to find that fear doesn't often win. I recently saw a post on facebook about a flight attendant who moved an African-American gentleman to first class, claiming that she didn't want him to have to sit next to the unpleasant woman who had been complaining about sitting next to him.  This post was "shared" several different times.  We read things like this and think that we've really come a long way. Our reaction is one of outrage at the ignorance of this woman.  But, I would dare to say that we've simply traded one hate for another.  Something makes us uncomfortable because we don't understand it, and instead of learning, we turn to ignorance.

6.  I LOVE my sister.  She has a heart of gold, and is one of the most giving people I know.  She is my best friend and knows me better than myself sometimes.  
     But, I DO NOT LOVE some of her quirky characteristics.  These would be the ones that most people find adorable, but actually just make me want to pull my freaking hair out.  She recently planned a business trip for herself and a friend.  After losing ALL confirmation information, she finally called the airline last night.  This is 5 days before she is supposed to leave!  Several phone calls later (and I'm sure some very exasperated airline personnel) she has a "possible" flight at a "possible" time, and a "possible" mode of transportation from the airport in Washington, D.C. to a hotel whose name she can't currently remember.  And you know what the real bitch of the whole thing is???  This will WORK for her!!!  If I did something like this, I would get re-routed to Zimbabwe, but she will make it home safe and sound only to live another day in chaos.

7.  I love my husband, and I fully support the fact that the guy is concerned about keeping up a certain physique.
    But, when that assclown wakes me up an hour earlier than usual so that he can go workout while I spend the remainder of the day on the couch eating spoonfuls of peanut butter and drowning in self-loathing, trying to hold my eyelids open with tooth picks it makes me want to strangle that nicely-toned neck with my bare hands.

So, you see, there is more to me than just germaphobia (although while we're on the subject, KEEP YOUR FREAKING SICK CHILDREN AT HOME!).  Deep breath...   As I was saying, much more to me than a hatred for germs.  So, to recap, I love food that does not love me and simple moments with my kids.  I dislike hatred, doorbells, and the side of my sister that is part Kardashian.