So, one of the things I've learned in my 39 years of navigating whatever the hell this life of mine is, that I always seem to do better when I can read about someone else's shared experience. Grieving parents, unfortunately there are many of us, but it is oddly helpful to be able to see that someone else has been where you are, isn't it? Covid long hauler? Nurse? Wife? Sister? Daughter? No matter what hat I wear, there is comfort in knowing I'm not alone. And it is that frame of mind that brings me to this blog...
Teen and tween moms....HOLY HORMONES, amiright?! I don't know why we spend so much time focusing on the "parenting we'll have to do when we have teens" revolving around drugs and sex ed. I mean, that's not even on the radar! We're too busy over here dealing with all the existential crises....good lord. I swear if one more kid says to me, "I don't know what I'm going to do with my life!", I'm gonna lose it. No shit, kid? Me either. And that's always met with, "oh mom, why do you always say that?" Um, because it's TRUE! This isn't for your benefit or to make you feel better, child. I seriously feel like some days I'm still searching. And guess what?...that's ok. Sheesh.
I've got 5 of these people in my house. Who thought that was a good idea? If we're not bitching about who stole the last tampon, we're complaining about who's using the most wifi🙄. I have always said that my least favorite age to parent is 12-13. I stand by that. Yes I love all of my kids, blah blah blah, but come on, let's be honest....they be nuts. Somehow that bridge between childhood and teen years is the most difficult to cross. The fact that I can't do more to help them over it, makes me crazy! I feel like I spend an insane amount of time explaining that we all have insecurities in life, and that we all have moments where friendships shift and change, and that sometimes you're just going to have shitty experiences when it comes to other people. Good grief, I need a counseling degree for this stage, and *spoiler alert*, I don't have one! 🤦♀️
But let's get down to the real nitty gritty of what makes this stage of parenting life such a pain in the ass....HOW MANY EMPTY WATER BOTTLES CAN ONE PERSON STORE IN THEIR BEDROOM??? And why???? Phew, I feel like getting that off my chest is a real breakthrough.
And parenting teens during a pandemic?! We should get medals. All of us. And free booze for as many months as we've parented a teen during this crazy ass time. I mean, we love them, right? But we're used to having days filled with activities and school (the kind where they actually leave your house), and friend dates, etc. Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely saw the beauty in the extra time with my teens. Most of the time we're so busy with life that we miss out on these precious last years at home, but Lord grant me the serenity....we have HAD togetherness. I think it's ok to talk about both, right? I mean, yes they're great but I also need space in my own brain for my own shit!
I swear it's like trying to live the lives of each of them FOR them as they figure shit out (because sometimes they really prove their "teen-ness" and you kind of wonder how the hell they walk and chew gum at the same time) while simultaneously letting them go a little more each day. Um, that's maddening.
It's an endless loop of seeing your babies turn into young adults and being inspired by their growth and also trying not to strangle them for clearly misunderstanding how to change a damn toilet paper roll!! And have you noticed that each time you bring that simple task up to your teen, through clenched teeth, that somehow it is ALWAYS them that has to put the new roll on while their siblings apparently eat bon bons and sunbathe all day?? How is that possible?! Cause I've never seen one of you "apparently intelligent" children, EVER put the stupid thing back on unless there is smoke coming out of my ears.
Yes we do chores. Yes my kids cook their own meals and clean the kitchen afterward. Yes they mow the lawn. But life gets in the way, and hormones, and emotions and feelings push their way into the forefront and those things get forgotten or ignored. So, we get back on track and feel good about ourselves for...about 2 hours, before someone else has some kind of crisis. I knew that running around after toddlers would be exhausting, although admittedly you can't know HOW exhausting until you have them. And I had of course heard about how "hard it is to have teens", but again...CLUELESS until I got here myself. I have great kids. They make good decisions for the most part and they have huge hearts, all of them. And someday, they're going to be incredible adults that change the world. But, for today, if they really want to bring that tear of pride to my eye...toilet paper is the answer!🤦♀️
