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Monday, April 25, 2011

Hangin' Tough

Wait for it....I am STILL running!  I know, I know, it's amazing.  I have no idea what the hell is going on here.  The planets must be perfectly aligned or something.   Although, I don't know how much longer it will last because I started week 5  on Sunday, and I think it took an hour and a half to recover.  This is not an exaggeration. I want to go back to last week and punch myself though.  I was all kinds of cocky after I finished last week's final run.  I kept thinking maybe I should have skipped ahead, because although the workouts were difficult, I wasn't quite as miserable as I thought I should be.  I am a mother of 4, and therefore a glutton for punishment.

Apparently there is a whole lot more to this "running" thing than just putting your shoes on and heading down the road.  First of all, the shoes can be the biggest problem.  They've got people who actually analyze feet and the wear patterns of your shoes!!  It's incredible the amount of thought that goes into this.  See, I was under the impression that running was pretty simple: Get the kid off your boob, open the door and run away as fast as you can before they all start chasing after you.  However, this is not the case.

I have recently discovered that a lot goes into the preparation before a run.  First of all, the whole "stretching" thing....NOT just a friendly suggestion.  Putting the full force of your body weight on muscles that haven't been REALLY worked since New Kids On The Block were in town, is not advisable without first loosening them up a little.  Secondly, I have noticed that my fellow runners (people I meet on the street who manage to smile and wave at me while I sort of grunt and blow snot in their general direction) are usually quite decked out for the occasion.  I mean, I guess you can wear clothes that match if that's what you're into, and apparently if you're female, the whole point of your "sports bra" is to show as much cleavage as possible.  I haven't quite adopted this sort of running style as of yet.  Right now my running attire consists of any shirt/pants combination I find lying on the ground on my way to the door.  I don't care if they match...actually, I don't even care if they're mine.  The rest of my running motif has much more to do with necessity than style.  I explained it to one mom who claimed that she was inspired by me (oh god) to begin running, but she had too much jiggle when she ran.  I said, "Oh, Honey...I never leave the house without two sports bras, a girdle, and some chaps."

Seriously, the bra that I wear when I run could easily be mistaken for Fort Knox.  I guess I could try something a little more stylish, but I have a hard enough time jumping over sticks and rocks in the road.  Somehow, I think tripping over my own boob could have dire consequences.  I also have this false sense of being hotter than hell when I run.  For example, if it's an off day and I don't get my run in, I immediately assume that I weigh three hundred pounds and have sprouted a facial wart.  However, if I do get to run that day I just know that I've lost 30 lbs, have long locks of flowing blonde hair (because all the hot chicks seem to be blonde), and have skin that sort of glistens in the sun.  Luckily, reality is not too far away because I do own a mirror.  Today, after my run through the rain, my face looked like a swollen, bruised tomato and my hair was sticking out like it may have been struck by lightening.  Still, it felt good.

Running is fun for me, and once I get started, I love the feel of being on the road.  But, the true victory is in getting out the door.  I'm not naive enough to think that SEVERAL things don't have to be in place before I can even attempt a run.  It isn't easy, and at the risk of sounding like a braggart, I'd like to say that I'm proud of myself for making the effort.  I'd also like to thank my husband for encouraging me and being available to be with the kids while I run.  And to my kids, thank you for giving me a reason to run away! :)


  1. Keep it up! (Love the part about tripping on your boob! Too funny.)

  2. I wish it were funny. Sadly, it's dangerously close to the truth!!