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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Predictive Text...What the duck???

Somehow, I'm a married woman with four children, I pay taxes, have a driver's license, and can cut my own meat, but my cell phone will NOT let me text certain expletives.  Here's the thing:  I'm over 18, over 21 in fact (although only by a few minutes) and I'm currently allowed very few vices.  I don't smoke, I take in absolutely NO caffeine, and I don't drink alcohol (this last one is absolutely not by choice. In fact, I'm making a list of beverages to try/slam when I'm able).  So why then, won't my phone let me enjoy my one (yes, only one) vice?

If I want to call someone an asshole, that's what I'm gonna say.  But predictive text feels that "ashore" is a more appropriately, text-worthy word.  I disagree.  And yes, I assume most people use the contraction "he'll" from time to time, but let me just tell you, my little android friend, a good majority of the time I mean HELL.  Get over it. You're a machine.  Except profanity, or we may need to part ways.

I have realized that, after awhile, the predictive text feature starts to realize what words are used most often and begins using those regularly.  This feature is helpful, but, (like men) every time you get a new one you have to retrain! My old phone and I were becoming quite chummy and then along comes Christmas and all "he'll" breaks loose.  I tried to type the word "get" yesterday and it came up with "heterosexual".  Great, even my phone is a homophobe.  And of course it isn't comfortable with my rather extensive curse-word vocabulary.  So, I guess I'll just spend the next few months convincing my new phone that I absolutely DO NOT mean "duck."

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