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Monday, December 10, 2012

Mud Puddles and Ice Cream

I know there are a million things I could be praying for right now.  Peace.  Comfort. Healing.  But, all I can think to pray for right now are mud puddles and ice cream.  I told you to fly.  To fly to Papa because he would be waiting to hold you, and you can let him for a moment.  Let him breathe in the baby shampoo that I put on your curls in those last hours.

 But then I want you to get up and run. Run forever.  Because you can now, baby.  There are no weak sides.  No seizures claiming your balance.  No need to hold onto anything as you go.  Just run.  And get dirty.  Find a mud puddle and get covered in it.  Roll around if you'd like and feel the coolness of it on your face.  Then get back up and run again.

When you do, you may find an ice cream stand.  It's ok if it's breakfast time.  Have all the ice cream you want.  It will not be the "special" ice cream you had to eat here.  It will not taste strange in your mouth.  It will be as if you are 10 months old again, and it will slide down your throat so smoothly.  You'll love it just as much as you did then.  Maybe more, because I'm guessing there are better flavors there!

And if you'd like to take a break from running sometime, you can climb the trees.  You can swing from the branches and then flop down on the grass to do a little fishing.  Papa loves to fish and he's the best teacher.  He'll show you how to be patient, and how to take your catch off the hook.

When you've run, and fished, and filled your belly with ice cream, if you have a moment, I would love to see you again.  In  a dream, or any other way you'd like to show me that you're ok.  I'll be waiting for it, but don't feel like you have to rush it.  I can be very patient.  And, hold onto that piece of my heart that I gave you before you left.  It will fit right back in it's place when I see you again.

8 comments:

  1. This is beautiful Shannon. Easton is up there and he has no limitations!! He will show himself to you again, especially when you need it the most, and probably aren't expecting it. God Bless.

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  2. ...perfection. You are an angel on earth, and now you have one in heaven! Blessed to say I know you both!

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  3. Shannon, I admire your strength through everything. Your words are beautiful and I hope they are a type of therapy for you. My heart and prayers are with you, Jeff and all of your family

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  4. Beautiful message... I admire your strength. You are a testament to the love of a mother.

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  5. Now I understand why God chose you to be Easton's mother.
    HE wanted Easton to have a mother, who even though her heart is breaking,can find the "good things" for Easton in heaven.
    I'm betting Easton's father is the same kind of parent.

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  6. What beautiful words coming from a mother who has just lost one of the most precious things in her life. I am sure he has made friends with my precious Kala and they are running and eating ice cream together. And he will come to you if it's in a dream or a moment that reminds you of him or just a thought of a sweet time the two of you shared. If you ever need to talk Shannon I hope you know that I am there. I know how deep the pain is that you are feeling right now and if you need to share your pain or just vent or anything at all know that I am here. I think God gives angels like our children to the parents he knows are strong enough to handle it. There is never anyway you can understand or know why we are chosen to go through such a tragic event but know that you are not alone and that God is with you and your baby boy is a sweet sweet angel in heaven right now and is looking down on you with love. Hang in there. I am praying for you every day and admire your super strength! Love and prayers,
    Janda

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  7. Shannon, I don't know if you remember me. I was a student teacher at Payson and I think you were a sophomore and Callie a freshman. I keep in touch with Bev Hurt and she has kept me in the loop. You and your sister made a huge impression on me. You both were such awesome girls.

    WOW! Shannon, I admire your strength! your words are so beautiful and healing. I truly believe God has our lives all planned out and down the road all of this will make sense. I have learned that His timing is perfect and He never leaves us alone to deal with pain. He is with you now and taking good care of Easton and showing him around. I'm glad you have this outlet and I pray that you continue to have the strength to get through the really tough days. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Take care of each other and know that you have a little angel looking down on you.

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  8. wow. it's really a good contribution to us guys not good at icecream, you know i did some cakes before but the taste it's not good, then i quit, so if you have interesting, you can load to cheap rolex watches

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