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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

And the Emmy goes to...

Entertainment.  You wanna see REAL entertainment?  Observe a group of women discussing the latest blockbusters.  I guarantee you it will take all of 5 seconds to discover which of these women is the mommy in the group.  Oh, sure she'll pretend to know what you're talking about.  She'll even throw in some noncommittal statement about her latest trip to the "theater."  You  may even see some feigned interest at the mention of famous actors.  However, she doesn't actually recognize THEIR names, she probably remembers their MOTHERS and has confused the two.

It's not that she hasn't watched any television in the last decade, but I can tell you that if you are discussing movie/tv trivia with a  mother of young children, she will know THESE things:

1.  Someone needs to call DCFS because Ruby has been the legal guardian for her two-year-old brother for entirely too long.  Sure, grandma comes to "visit" every once in awhile, but not before Ruby has cleaned the house, baked a cake, and sent Max to his room at least 8 times.  The girl is seven.  Not even rabbits should have that much responsibility at such a young age.

2.   And if a certain latina girl and her pet monkey appear on the screen, you can pretty much put the tv on mute and the neighbors up the street will STILL hear what's going on in Doraland.

3. Every mom secretly wishes that her handyman were half as sexy as Manny.  (Don't know you can't deny that heavenly accent.)

4.  The mom in the group will be the one doing the not-so-nonchalant check of her watch and wondering if she remembered to set the DVR to tape the new "Bubble Guppies" episodes.  It doesn't matter that it will be on 300 times in the next month...the premiere episode is ALWAYS better.

I will admit it.  This is me.  I've seen a few movies over that past few years though. Do you know what movie I saw in the theater most recently?  Mars Needs Moms.  I did not take my children.  Why did I go see this movie when I had a couple of free hours to myself, and could pretty much have chosen ANY movie?  Because this is what I've seen advertised.  THIS is my life.  THIS is the latest "blockbuster" for me.  And you know what?  I thought it was great.  I bawled like a baby, but to be fair that was probably because I realized that I'd just spent two hours without having to change any diapers, wipe any noses, or flip my boobs out of my shirt.

I also recently discovered that Team UmiZoomi's "Bot" has the same voice as "Joe" on the old Blue's Clue's show.  And really there's nothing wrong with that discovery, except that I actually go around telling people this little piece of information as if I've unearthed the Holy Grail.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll rejoin the entertainment industry someday, but for now I'll just sing along to the tune in my head.  (Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog)  It may be lame, but I'm actually ok with that because to be honest, at the end of the day, I'm too tired to give ANYTHING two thumbs up.


  1. ...Handy Manny is Wilmer what's his name...that's why it makes it hard for me to watch, can't get Wilmer's head out of my head, and what the hell is he on that he is talking to one else thinks that's strange? Right there with you on all of the above...:)

  2. unnn...shrtcake. unnn......shrtcake. unnn...shrtcake. Just thought you needed to hear what I hear EVERYDAY. (for all those who don't know claire, the above statement is supposed to be, "I want Shortcake" - meaning strawberry.)

  3. how about "tee tah?" that's oliviaese for "olivia the piglet." or maybe elmo? that's her first word every morning...elmo. she lives for tee tah and elmo.
    and don't even get me started on the hot dog song. i walked around like a fool singing that at work the other day because rather than fighting it, i just embraced the insanity.

  4. The other day, I actually said to Matt, "I haven't seen the Imagination Movers in a while. I kind of miss them!" I then broke in to the "Brainstorming" song. I was quite proud when I remembered all the words!!!!!

  5. No bad ideas when you're BRAIN-stormin'!!!

    See? I know some trivia. You just have to know my demographic! :) Thanks for reading!