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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Spring is HERE!

Do you know how you can tell that it's springtime in Quincy, IL?  Drive around and take a look at the neighborhood parks.  They are PACKED with people on the first nice day.  And, if you want to get the full effect, take a look at all of the smiling faces.  I'm NOT talking about the kids.  I'm talking about the moms who are giddy with excitement.  They get all wild-eyed and crazy just THINKING about being able to go outside.  This is because they've spent the last 5-6 months in a veritable hell on earth. They've just experienced some sort of psychotic reverse-hibernation.  I, for one, have been awake since August.

Winter means cold. Cold means being trapped inside.  Being trapped inside means germs, and sickness and cranky-ass kids.  It's one thing to hear the words, "my child is sick."  But, you cannot fully appreciate the magnitude of that statement unless you've taken care of an ill child.  Those four words do not explain the fact that now you have to decide whether or not it is worth the co-pay to take your kid to the doctor.   If you finally do decide to take them, the worst two words you can ever hear are "it's viral."  GREAT!  Now, I spent $35 for someone else to tell me that my days are going to suck for the next week and there isn't anything I can do about it.  On the other hand, if you do get an antibiotic for some kind of bacterial infection you get to play a whole new game!!  First of all, you now get to wait in the car with your sick child while the pharmacy decides whether or not your time is worthy of their efforts.  But first you have to actually get to the drive-thru window.  That's right people, the drive-thru window!!!  I'm not gonna take a sick, screaming kid into the store to wait 1/2 an hour to get a prescription.  So, if you're not over 80 or have a vehicle full of children, get your ass out of the car and make the trip inside!!  (perhaps I need to phone my therapist)

Anyway, I now get to decide what kind of flavoring will aid me in my quest to give this sticky, messy antibiotic...TWICE a day.   I go with grape, because why the hell not?  I mean, we're gonna be washing out nasty clothes for a week anyway, why not add a nice purple?  Of course, this isn't the end of said fiasco, because as soon as that child finishes the antibiotic, another child starts coughing.  This is the rule, by the way.  You absolutely CANNOT have more than one sick child at a time.  They MUST take turns, dragging out illness for at least 3 weeks, making you a prisoner in your own home.

I guess this blog is giving a little insight into what I've been up to the last few months...seriously need to call that therapist.  But, you now know the signs of spring and I can tell you that if you want to know when winter is coming, just come by my house.  I'll be the one in the corner, twitching and chewing on my own socks.

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