Sometimes I wonder what I will be when I grow up. But, then that gets me thinking about what I could possibly put on a resume. Sure, I was a nurse for a couple of years, and I've got my BSN but my real education didn't take effect until I saw those first little pink lines. Motherhood is sort of backwards in that way. For some reason, you're given the position and THEN the schooling begins. While my education in this field is ongoing, I feel as though at this point I should have some kind of impressive title. But, what is it that I do? I imagine an interview going something like this:
Prospective employer: What kind of experience can you bring to this job?
Me: Well, I believe I've given a whole new meaning to the word multi-tasking. I have been known to carry on a relatively stimulating phone conversation, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (with the crust off of course), wipe a dirty bottom, and change a load of laundry simultaneously. You may also be impressed to know that I do all of this with my breasts hanging out because the youngest always ABSOLUTELY NEEDS to eat when I've got six other things happening. Sir? Where are you going? Was that too much information? Perhaps "impressed" wasn't the best choice of words.
But seriously, what am I supposed to say? That I have no idea what the hell it is that I do all day? That I know, despite my best efforts, supper will end up being hot dogs with mac and cheese, and my house will inevitably be declared a natural disaster by 9 pm? I don't know. All I know for sure is that at the end of the day, I am exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted. Is that enough to warrant a raise? Is it sufficient to count toward a glowing evaluation? My guess is probably not, but for some reason it is good enough for my three-year old. And I know this because every night before she goes to sleep, she wraps her arms around my neck, squeezes as hard as she can and says, "I love you Mommy." That sounds like a promotion to me.