Thursday, March 3, 2011
Rip Van Winkle...that guy had it made.
Remember when your entire existence didn't revolve around the next time you would get some actual sleep? I long for those days of ignorant bliss. Those days that I thought that staying up past 1 a.m. to cram for the next day's exam was a "rough" night. Now my entire day is spent "planning" a nap schedule. The upside to this is that it gives the illusion of being a great mom. I pack my kids up and take them to the park on nice days and we stay for hours just playing and running. Of course this is a healthy activity, but that's not the reason that I, or any of the other moms for that matter, are out enjoying the sunshine. You see, it's all part of the plan. If you let your kids run until they fall over, you have a much better chance of snagging a couple of hours of sleep yourself. That's right moms...you're not fooling anyone. We all know the drill because we're all plotting the same thing! You can also take it up a notch by bringing a healthy snack to the park. Throw a few strawberries and sliced apples in a bag and you can sit back and smile smugly as Momma To The Right is fishing out french fries and burgers to her poor malnourished children. She doesn't need to know that you spent all day yesterday in your bathrobe preparing meals like "deep-fried hot dog smothered in cheese sauce." (sure to be a crowd favorite by the way). It doesn't matter, because TODAY you are super-healthy, super-rested, super-mom! You chase your kids around the park and giggle with them as if just last night you weren't threatening to put a lock on the outside of their bedroom doors.